


but i love my friends, they make me feel alive again (or at least they remind me that i'm not even dead)

by antpelts



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Group Chat Fic, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, tags to come, texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antpelts/pseuds/antpelts
Summary: connor 🔪🔪 Today at 2:40 ami have problemsjard Today at 2:41 amokay fucking fair// a group chat fic!
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i just think gc fics are silly n fun :'Dc

_it’s the mental illness for me_ _  
_ # general

 **jard** Today at 2:04 am   
attnt seniors in ap lit a bitch just found out how to do the last q on the bs worksheet due tmrw 

**🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 2:08 am   
*due today   
however, 🤲   
for the passage you ended up quoting, i don’t want your full answer 

**connor 🔪🔪** Today at 2:09 am **  
**“seniors in ap lit”  
u mean all of us except zoe?

 **jard** Today at 2:13 am **  
**okay actually im just gonna dm lana the part i found no one else gets it

 **🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 2:14 am **  
****😊** **  
**

**connor 🔪🔪** Today at 2:16 am **  
**bold of u to assume i was turning in the worksheet in full its bs anyways

 **evan(escence)** Today at 2:18 am   
wait what did i do ?? 😰 

**jard** Today at 2:21 am **  
**🙄🙄😬

 **evan(escence)** Today at 2:22 am **  
**??? : <

**zo 🎸** Today at 2:35 am **  
**flirt somewhere else

 **jard** Today at 2:38 am **  
**i know why im up but wtf is wrong w u bitches its like 3 we have school tmrw ?

 **🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 2:38 am **  
***today 😓

 **connor 🔪🔪** Today at 2:40 am **  
**i have problems

 **jard** Today at 2:41 am **  
**okay fucking fair

 **evan(escence)** Today at 2:43 am **  
**i have insomnia :[

 **🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 2:43 am **  
**:( 🫂

 **evan(escence)** Today at 2:44 am **  
**i cant see it ???? 😔

 **🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 2:45 am **  
**it’s the hugging emoji!!

 **evan(escence)** Today at 2:46 am **  
**🥺

 **zo 🎸** Today at 2:46 am **  
**:-( we love ya ev !

 **evan(escence)** Today at 2:47 am **  
**;_;

 **jard** Today at 2:49 am **  
**lmao what is this 2012?

 **evan(escence)** Today at 2:50 am **  
**D:

 **zo 🎸** Today at 2:51 am **  
**not to repeat myself but,

 **zo 🎸** Today at 2:51 am **  
**flirt somewhere else

 **jard** Today at 2:52 am **  
**🖕

 **connor 🔪🔪** Today at 2:53 am **  
**maybe im not the only one with issues

 **jard** Today at 2:54 am **  
**hmm im going to bed <3

* * *

 **z murphy** | _aka_ **zo 🎸**

 **insanelycool** Today at 2:56 am   
could u like stop saying that maybe

 **z murphy** Today at 2:58 am   
??

 **insanelycool** Today at 2:59 am   
the flirting thing   
i mean dont wanna get evs hopes up amiright lmaoo   
also like neither of us are even into guys so like ykno ://

* * *

 **pecan** | _aka_ **evan(escence)**

 **z murphy** Today at 2:54 am   
i’m assuming you’ve tried white noise and shit to help you sleep

 **pecan** Today at 2:57 am   
:< yeh i mean i could take melatonin but idk lol

 **z murphy** Today at 3:00 am   
hm yeah i mean it’s supposed to work   
i’m sorry dude :/

 **pecan** Today at 3:02 am   
:’’D ah,, ty its fine tho i fall asleep eventually

 **z murphy** Today at 3:03 am   
i’ll leave you to it then lol   
see ya tmrw dude

 **pecan** Today at 3:03 am   
gn!!

* * *

 **insanelycool** | _aka_ **jard**

 **z murphy** Today at 3:04 am   
i mean lol idk what that’s gotta do w anything but yeah w/e dude

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:05 am   
its just weird to call it flirting bc neither of us like guys   
like idk its just weird

 **z murphy** Today at 3:05 am   
yeah w/e dude i said okay lol

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:05 am   
plus he obviously has a thing for u lol   
oh okay yeah cool

 **z murphy** Today at 3:06 am   
lmao not this again   
we went to hoco as friends we’re not like that

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:07 am   
well lmao duh ur not like actually anything   
but its painfully obvs hes into u didnt he try to kiss u at hoco

 **z murphy** Today at 3:08 am   
🙄   
you guys bring that up so much why are you all so obsessed with it   
that was like 2 _months_ ago we moved past it we’re just friends

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:09 am   
okay well you can still be into ur friends lol that doesnt mean he doesnt like you

 **z murphy** Today at 3:09 am   
what, do you have like first hand experience?

* * *

 **pecan** | _aka_ **evan(escence)**

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:09 am   
dudeeeeee

 **pecan** Today at 3:10 am   
:0?? hm?

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:11 am   
lol why are u still up go to bed

 **pecan** Today at 3:11 am   
D: ?? u messaged me bitch?   
also i got fuckin issues lol 😔

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:13 am   
me 2 bitch u arent special 🙄🙄

 **pecan** Today at 3:14 am   
did u need something??

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:14 am   
oh right   
i have the thing from lana if u needed it

 **pecan** Today at 3:15 am   
oh !! yeah pls g-d this worksheet sucks   
im in bed tho so like i could copy it down off urs before class tomorrow

 **insanelycool** Today at 3:15 am   
yeah dude   
if ur not up when i get there to pick u up tho im leaving   
so go to bed

 **pecan** Today at 3:16 am   
im trying !! x[ ur the one talkin to me

* * *

 _it’s the mental illness for me_ _  
_ # general

 **jard** Today at 7:45 am   
publicly shaming **@evan(escence)** for not being ready when i come to pick him up

 **evan(escence)** Today at 7:45 am   
shut up shut up shut up im coming   
my mom was talking to me !! D:

 **zo 🎸** Today at 7:46 am   
damn jared let a guy talk to his mom why don’t ya?? 🙄

 **jard** Today at 7:46 am   
shut uppppppppppp   
go flirt somewhere else 🙄🙄🙄🤧

* * *

 **insanelycool** | _aka_ **jard**

 **z murphy** Today at 7:47 am   
okay if you’re being petty you can like just quit while you’re ahead   
if it’s what i said last night w/e dude i’m sorry but like you need to learn to take it you can’t just dish it and expect everyone to just not say shit lol?   
also bc we’re like _friends_ dude i get you got this act but i’m not puttin up with bs

 **insanelycool** Today at 7:49 am   
okay okay fuckin hell dude   
i get it !!   
and i thought ur brother was scary   
im drivin to school now ://

* * *

 _it’s the mental illness for me_ _  
_ # general

 **connor 🔪🔪** Today at 11:47 am   
lana grabbed the lunch table back by the microwave

 **jard** Today at 11:48 am   
a good choice

 **connor 🔪🔪** Today at 11:48 am   
more like a forced choice   
anime club wannabes took our usual table

 **🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 11:48 am   
it’s fine!! microwave table is fine!

 **connor 🔪🔪** Today at 11:49 am   
its not fine i see the pain on her face literally rn   
the foot traffic is already bad   
someone just bumped into her its going to go down by the end of lunch 

**🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 11:50 am   
nothings “going to go down”

 **jard** Today at 11:50 am   
oh id love to see u fight someone

 **connor 🔪🔪** Today at 11:51 am   
maybe u will if u ever show up to lunch

 **evan(escence)** Today at 11:52 am   
he got held up in mcpheeters room he had to ask a yearbook question   
well be there in a min

 **zo 🎸** Today at 11:53 am   
well if they run out of tater tots he’s not getting any of mine so y’all better hurry

 **jard** Today at 11:56 am   
🖕


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every day i write vague gc stuff but if its confusing ill kinda say a lil in the end notes

_ it’s the mental illness for me _ _   
_ # general

**🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 5:59 pm   
are we still good for 9pm?

**connor 🔪🔪** Today at 6:02 pm   
well ill need a ride

**jard** Today at 6:04 pm   
zoes not coming????

**connor 🔪🔪** Today at 6:04 pm   
we got a real sleuth around

**🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 6:04 pm   
i can pick you up!! since you’re across town from jared and ev

**evan(escence)** Today at 6:05 pm   
is zoe okay?? :0

**connor 🔪🔪** Today at 6:06 pm   
ask her urself

**evan(escence)** Today at 6:08 pm   
oh okay

**🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 6:09 pm   
i can get the lanes all in order unless you want to jared?

**jard** Today at 6:09 pm   
ah sweet youll prolly get there first so yeah go ahead

**🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 6:10 pm   
sounds good!! then you should be able to get your bowling shoes and we can let you know what lane we got

**jard** Today at 6:11 pm   
yeah ill try to be on time but u kno ev   
hes got that slow bitch disease 🙄

* * *

**z murphy** |  _ aka  _ **zo 🎸**

**pecan** Today at 6:09 pm   
hey!!   
are you doin alright??

**z murphy** Today at 6:12 pm   
yeah? why?

**pecan** Today at 6:13 pm   
oh just ur not coming with to glow bowling anymore?   
and you seemed pretty excited? :’D

**z murphy** Today at 6:16 pm   
im just   
:’//

**pecan** Today at 6:17 pm   
:[ ?

**z murphy** Today at 6:17 pm   
just don’t like.. say shit to anyone

**pecan** Today at 6:17 pm   
🤐

**z murphy** Today at 6:18 pm   
lmao   
ok just like.. i don’t really want to be around connor that much rn   
he was being a dick at dinner and i already see him at school now i’m kinda fucking tired   
sorry just nevermind it’s cool i’ll go next time

**pecan** Today at 6:26 pm   
no!!! im sorry!!   
i just like h   
i dont know i dont feel like i really have place to give an opinion?   
i mean im sorry hes being a dick obviously but just   
yeah i wish i could say more

**z murphy** Today at 6:30 pm   
it’s fine dude don’t worry i’ll get over it   
have fun tonight

**pecan** Today at 6:32 pm   
:’|   
ty,!

* * *

**pecan** |  _ aka  _ **evan(escence)**

**insanelycool** Today at 7:05 pm   
so whats zoes issue

**pecan** Today at 7:07 pm   
fuck dude u dont gotta be like that

**insanelycool** Today at 7:07 pm   
so you  _ do  _ kno whats up

**pecan** Today at 7:08 pm   
well !! i mean of course id ask?? like shes our friend   
plus she like planned this originally so like is it not weird shed cancel

**insanelycool** Today at 7:08 pm   
is it weird? ur the one who knows whats up

**pecan** Today at 7:09 pm   
i mean like its reasonable   
idk man its a whole thing

**insanelycool** Today at 7:16 pm   
uhhh hello?????

**pecan** Today at 7:17 pm   
??? what

**insanelycool** Today at 7:17 pm   
uh? are u not gonna tell me??

**pecan** Today at 7:18 pm   
i mean its like not.. its not like my thing to tell

**insanelycool** Today at 7:18 pm   
what if i start guessing

**pecan** Today at 7:18 pm   
no!!!

**insanelycool** Today at 7:19 pm   
bc u know if i guess it youll  _ have  _ to confirm

**pecan** Today at 7:19 pm   
i mean i dont ??

**insanelycool** Today at 7:20 pm   
u cant hide shit from me dude

**pecan** Today at 7:21 pm   
:/

**insanelycool** Today at 8:13 pm   
im coming over now   
if u didnt eat dinner im gonna kick ur ass

* * *

_ it’s the mental illness for me _ _   
_ # general

**🌟 lana 🌟** Today at 9:04 pm   
we have lane 10!!

**connor 🔪🔪** Today at 9:05 pm   
if ur not gonna be here soon were gonna waste a game without you

**jard** Today at 9:09 pm   
chill out damn i just parked were coming in now   
u can put our names in we just gotta grab our shoes

**evan(escence)** Today at 9:09 pm   
sorry guys 

* * *

**con m** |  _ aka  _ **connor 🔪🔪**

**Alana B** Today at 9:14 pm   
is there a reason you’re doing this?

**con m** Today at 9:16 pm   
someones confrontational today

**Alana B** Today at 9:17 pm   
i said one thing to you   
and i’m honestly asking, this seems like overkill for something that was a nonissue

**con m** Today at 9:18 pm   
i put their names in for them

**Alana B** Today at 9:18 pm   
i don’t really like the whole “playing dumb” thing    
we’re friends, and even if you’re not really their friend i thought you were my friend

**con m** Today at 9:19 pm   
its not my fault hes so fucking sensitive

**Alana B** Today at 9:19 pm   
and you’re never sensitive at all?

**con m** Today at 9:20 pm   
im not dealing with this shit its ur turn

**Alana B** Today at 9:20 pm   
well i’m not going to keep dealing with it forever either   
can you at least not outwardly make people uncomfortable for no reason at all

**con m** Today at 9:21 pm   
if evan wants to go cry in the bathroom thats his issue

* * *

**Alana B** |  _ aka  _ **🌟 lana 🌟**

**pecan** Today at 9:54 pm   
im sorry again

**Alana B** Today at 9:56 pm   
it’s alright ev!! i hope youre feeling better!

**pecan** Today at 9:57 pm   
i know you set this night aside and paid for the lanes and everything im sorry

**Alana B** Today at 9:57 pm   
its okay, ev i promise! you didn’t sign up for connor to be rude i don’t blame you for wanting to go home

* * *

**pecan** |  _ aka  _ **evan(escence)**

**insanelycool** Today at 10:22 pm   
dude i dont think shes mad   
and yes i read ur fuckin screenshots

**pecan** Today at 10:23 pm   
h :’/

**insanelycool** Today at 10:23 pm   
seriously like   
its over its done    
just let it fade into obscurity   
no ones gonna bring it up in like two days

**pecan** Today at 10:24 pm   
idk man   
i just dont know wtf i ever did to connor??   
like  _ you  _ kinda said some bs to him before but

**insanelycool** Today at 10:25 pm   
DAMN.. ur comin in swinging huh   
perfect lil eevee never hurt a fly :/

**pecan** Today at 10:25 pm   
i??   
i mean ive barely ever talked to him   
but he just like,, hates me?

**insanelycool** Today at 10:26 pm   
he probably doesnt Hate u   
but like are u forgetting the zoe shit like   
you being like in love w his sister

**pecan** Today at 10:27 pm   
u keep saying that   
i wasnt like in love with her or whatever and weve been friends for months now

**insanelycool** Today at 10:29 pm   
regardless dude   
its like over and done no ones gonna care tmrw

**pecan** Today at 10:32 pm   
whatever ig   
ill see u tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos n comments mean the world <3
> 
> note: yeah so basically, connor made evan and jareds names kinda jokey for their bowling prolly made evans like acorn which hes probably told jared makes him feel weird in front of everyone and so connor knows he doesnt like it, thus upsetting evan seeing connor put it on their bowling game ;-;

**Author's Note:**

> kudos n comments mean the world <3


End file.
